I accidentally threw Jackson's homework in the trash tonight. It had a wet spot on it. Josh tried to reassure Jack it would be dry by morning, but Jackson was still so worried about it. So, in an effort not to disappoint his teacher, he wrote the note on top so she would understand.
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Feeling a little irritated tonight. I hate meal planning. I hate grocery shopping. I used to like cooking but now since my kids always complain about what I make, well that's not fun anymore either. I told myself recently after reading an article that I was no longer going to be a "short order cook". I would make dinner, and everyone would eat it. Or they wouldn't eat. Period. And I've done pretty good the past few weeks. Sometimes, however, I realize my kids just aren't going to like all the things I like. And I can't expect them to. My kids hate most vegetables. They won't eat soups. They like simple meals - meat and potatoes (although only mashed potatoes), fruit and cheese. That's about it. And even though I try to get them to try new things, I know they're not going to like my burrito bowls. So I thought of them when I went to the store and got Buffalo wings. Jack likes hot wings. So why did both him and Cameron freak out when I put the wings on the table tonight? Jack complained about the smell, and swore they were not the same kind of wings he normally eats. He even held his nose through most of dinner. Cameron took a bite and spit it out. Real nice. So I might have lost my temper. And I might have yelled. And this is why I hate meal planning.
This week's word..... Together. I've been married to my husband nearly 9 years. We met 12 years ago waiting tables when both of us were finishing up college. We've had 3 children, purchased two homes, and (between the 2 of us) changed jobs 6 times. He stood by my side and held me at my father's funeral. I hurt with his family when we said goodbye to his great grandmother, Ruby (Bella's namesake). We worried together when our kids were sick We stayed strong together and for each other when our 7 month old daughter had spinal surgery. We've seen each other at our worst (I've had a meltdown or two). We've seen each other at our best. He was with me every second during each of the births of our children. We've had money struggles and fears about the future. I can get under his skin, and he can push me to my boiling point. He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. I leave my coffee creamer on the counter. He does dishes, folds the laundry, and will change a dirty diaper. I do the dishes, fold the laundry, change diapers, give baths, clean the bathrooms, dust, take care of the birds, ... Ok, ok , I'll stop. I think he's naive to this crazy messed up world. He truly believes he can help anything and anyone. To him, everything is simple and must have an explanation. I psychoanalyze and have trust issues. He goes with the flow, I have to have a plan. I lean on him. He makes me feel safe. When he's not here, I miss him and his companionship. Even when I'm sitting on the couch playing on my phone and he's engrossed in ESPN, we're together.
We've only been together for 12 years. There is no doubt we will be together as long as we are both here on this earth. And even after that. I woke up about 4 a.m. It was freezing. Right before we went to bed, Josh turned down the A.C. because it was hot. I got up, turned down up the air, and got back into bed. Then I thought of Isabella. She had gone to bed in just a diaper and she always kicks off her blankets. So, I threw back the blanket and got back up again. I crept into her room ever so quietly and peeked on her in her crib. She was asleep and uncovered. I pulled the blanket over and turned around to head back to my bed....and literally smacked into and catapulted over her little wooden rocking chair. It was awful!! I thought I might have broken something. I laid there on the ground and of course Bella immediately started wailing. All the noise and commotion had woken her up. I called for Josh, "Josh, I fell and I'm in pain. I need help!" To make a long story short.....she ended up in our bed and well, her & I never fell back asleep. Only because she talked me too death, and having been gone all weekend, I was taking advantage of that time. I would scratch her back and she would say, "that feels good". Who can resist that?! Then she started with, "I wann watch coos-coos" (blues clues). Did I mention that both Jackson & Cameron had slept on the floor in our room with their own pillows & blankets? This is what happens when the parents go out of town for 2 days. But am I complaining? Um, no. I eat it right up. The more, the merrier. Welcome home.
Today marks the three year anniversary of my father's passing. It's true what they say, it does get easier with time. Unfortunately, the more time that passes, the more I forget details. The sound of his voice, his laugh, the smell of his cologne. It takes me a little longer to recall these things. I'm thankful for the videos and pictures I have of him. I only wish now that I had more. I cherish these pictures; it's really all I have left. October will always remind me of him. Sadly, one of the things I love most about fall, the colors of the leaves as they change, remind me of driving to Indiana for his funeral. I remember admiring the beautiful reds and oranges as we drove to the funeral home that day to say goodbye to him for the last time. The weather couldn't have been more beautiful. I am reminded of him everyday in myself. I am so much like him, especially the older I get. I see him in the mirror, in my smile, my eyes. My mannerisms and sense of humor, definitely. And it makes so proud. And sad at the same time. Because I know he would be happy that I am my father's daughter.
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November 2018
AuthorMy name is Kaci. I am a working mom of 3. Wife to Josh. Mom to Jackson, Cameron & Isabella. My life is dinner, homework, baseball, basketball, grocery lists, laundry, middle school, wine, video games, and schedules. I started this blog because I love taking pictures, and I needed a place to document our life. I wanted a place to write it all down, to remember little details so easily forgotten in the mad rush that is the life of a family of 5. Through my photos and words, I endeavor to capture our story. Categories
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