You are trying out for an AAU basketball team this weekend.
You had asked to skip All Stars baseball this past summer, because you wanted to focus on baseball and eventually join an AAU team. You played rec ball at the field house all summer up until last week. In August, you started working out with another basketball team. You have learned a lot and grown so much from those practices. I thought it had helped your confidence. You were very excited at the beginning of the school year to try out for the middle school team in November. Even though you understand that not many 6th graders don't make the team, you seemed excited just to try out.
You take a basketball everywhere we go. You can't go through a doorway without trying to jump and see how high you can reach. You eat, drink, and sleep basketball these days. It makes us both happy to see you so passionate about a sport.
Last weekend, you were supposed to try out for an AAU team, but practice was canceled. You were a nervous wreck. You tried to back out on the practice, saying you weren't ready. Now you are even saying you don't want to try out for middle school anymore. I was getting frustrated, that your lack of motivation might mean you were getting lazy and losing your passion for the sport. We had a rough experience in the summer. The team you played with wasn't good, at all. Daddy and I worried in the end it was holding you back and discouraging you. Which made us more excited about the prospect of getting you hooked up with a real team with experienced players. Now, it seems you have lost faith in yourself and have become discouraged. The other night, you even confessed to me that you don't think you're good enough to play on a travel team.
I'm not going to let you back out of this now. Because I do think you are good enough. But more importantly, you need to understand that life isn't always going to go your way. That doesn't mean you can give up and not even try. There is a valuable life lesson to be learned here, whether I like it or not. There is a good chance you won't make the middle school team, but it won't be because you're not good enough. There is also the chance that you won't get on this AAU team.
I want so much to protect you from a let down. That's what is tough about middle school, about this age. Sooner or later, you're going to be disappointed. A girl is going to break your heart. You may get cut from a team. It's bound to happen; it's life. You have to go through these experiences in order to grow up. What you don't understand (and won't for a very long time, until you have kids of your own), is that it's going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. The hardest part is going to be mine. I've been there before, I understand what you're feeling. And looking back, I know it's not the end of the world. But I don't want to see you with a broken heart. I guess I have to realize, too, that it's going to happen. I can't protect you from everything. And I shouldn't. I will, however, do everything I can to make it easier on you. No matter how old you get, you are (and will always be) my baby.
My name is Kaci. I am a working mom of 3. Wife to Josh. Mom to Jackson, Cameron & Isabella. My life is dinner, homework, baseball, basketball, grocery lists, laundry, wine, video games, and bath time. I started this blog because I am passionate about photography and journaling, and because I wanted a place to write it all down, to rememeber little details so easily forgotten in the mad rush that is the life of a family of 5. Through my photos and words, I endeavor to capture our story.